Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
