Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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