you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
