im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
