Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize