I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
