Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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