i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
