Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize