My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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