i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
