there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
