Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
