walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
