This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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