yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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