bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
