I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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