i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
