oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
