I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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