you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
