Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
