that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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