You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
