She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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