a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
