your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize