I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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