A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
