how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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