fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
