cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
