pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
