check it out our google latitudes are spooning
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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