I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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