If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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