So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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