What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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