RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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