it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
