I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
