Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
false alarm, still single
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