R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
two words...techno handjob
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
