she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
