porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
