hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
