Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
