i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
