another moral hangover. fuck.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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