The maid of honor just puked.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
