I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
