Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize