i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
