The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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