I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
