just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
