He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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