Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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