A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize