Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
