Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he thought i was a dude.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
